Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
