My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
