Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
