I heard we made out
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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