After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize