i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
