ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
