You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize