You just made me feel so damn special
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
