wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
