And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
