I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
