i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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