It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
