feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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