I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
