it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize