btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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