Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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