I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
