You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize