wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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