i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
