the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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