now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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