doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
