I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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