I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
