we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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