Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
