I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
