areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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