Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I stole a fireplace last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He did a backflip because drugs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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