I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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