Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
