For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
