a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
