They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
