It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
