discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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