she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
