That's intense
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize