I'm going to jail i love you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
