Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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