Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
