dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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