9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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