I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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