I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
