made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
