Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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