So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
