im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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