There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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