You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
