How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
