I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
