Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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