glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
