Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
