I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
