eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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