I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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