I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
