I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
