New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
