So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
