well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
