Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
