I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
