So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
