I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
