Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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