I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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