he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
