Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
