I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize