I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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