but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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