So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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