so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
