you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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