So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
